Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
