Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
