Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
