Buhtt sex?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
