Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize