awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
