I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
