Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
