Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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