i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
