Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
