Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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