she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it hurts more in the daytime
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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