I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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