why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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