She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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