I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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