you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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