I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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