I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
