I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
