he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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