Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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