Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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