I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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