How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
