'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
