we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
