Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
