I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
