Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
COCAINE IS GR8
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
