If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We are two peas in an std pod
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
