Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
