in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
