if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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