Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
