These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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