In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Randomize
