Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
