You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
