never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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