I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
