i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
