She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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