just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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