I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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