if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
