Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
