They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
