Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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