we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
