Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
