he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
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Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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