My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
