I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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