His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
