Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
