But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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