Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
