Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
