Are we in a gay sports bar?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
