I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
