HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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