the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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