Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
