So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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